When you've got a long weekend ahead, save the small talk for dinner and late nights in the hotel room and spend that long car ride getting pumped up with an audio book! Group outings can be stressful, especially when everyone has their own opinion on where to eat, what day to dress up, what time to call it a night, etc. Listening to an audio book can loosen everyone up and make the ride feel shorter. For your listening pleasure, we've compiled a list of our favorite audio books that are perfect for your girls' weekend road trip!
"Ever meet a hot billionaire while your hand's in a toilet in the men's room of one of his stores? No? So it really is just me. Hmm.
When you're a mystery shopper, you get paid to humiliate yourself, all in the name of improving customer service. Romance isn't in my job description. But the day I met Declan McCormick it was love at first flush. Until I nearly castrated him with my EpiPen. How Hot Guy and Toilet Girl became an item involves my crazy mom, a trip to the ER, my homicidal cat, my fake wife, and true love.
Don't look at me like that. I'm just doing my job. I'm shopping for a billionaire.
"Written by: Julia Kent
Narrated by: Tanya Eby
Length: 15 hrs and 27 mins
Series: Shopping for a Billionaire, Book 1-5
"The only lie told more often than "no, that looks totally cute on you" and "I got AIDS through oral" is "it gets better". Well, a lotta times it don't. Sometimes it just sucks less. But I promise you: Where there's a Willam, there's a way.
But this isn't all about me (for once). It's about you and how you can suck less at a variety of things drag queens are so much better at than the average person. I've got clap backs and life hacks and tips on classing up a simple grab-and-run lifting spree to the much more dignified act of larceny. Super-important life stuff with my own special secret fag-swag sauce. So welcome to Willam's School of Bitchcraft and Wiggotry. Class is in session."
Written by: Willam Belli ,Neil Patrick Harris - foreword
Narrated by: Willam Belli
Length: 5 hrs and 26 mins
Comedian, activist, and hugely popular culture blogger at AwesomelyLuvvie.com, Luvvie Ajayi, serves up necessary advice for the masses in this hilarious book of essays.
"This truth-riot of a book gives us everything from hilarious lectures on the bad behavior all around us to razor sharp essays on media and culture." (Shonda Rhimes, New York Times best-selling author of Year of Yes and executive producer of Scandal and Grey's Anatomy)
"I don't know how Luvvie Ajayi got so smart so young about so many things, from feminism to social media, from the pervasiveness of rape culture to the excellence of Red Lobster's Cheddar Bay Biscuits. I'm just grateful she has chosen to share her wisdom with the rest of us...." (Jennifer Weiner, number-one New York Times best-selling author of Best Friends Forever)
With a lighthearted, razor-sharp wit and a unique perspective, I'm Judging You is the audiobook the world needs, doling out the hard truths and a road map for bringing some "act right" into our lives, social media, and popular culture. It is the Do-Better Manual.
Release Date: 09-13-2016
Written by: Luvvie Ajayi
Narrated by: Luvvie Ajayi
Length: 6 hrs and 37 mins
"The Oscar-nominated Precious star and Empire actress delivers a much-awaited memoir - wise, complex, smart, funny - a version of the American experience different from anything we've heard. Gabourey Sidibe - "Gabby" to her legion of fans - skyrocketed to international fame in 2009 when she played the leading role in Lee Daniels' acclaimed movie Precious. In This Is Just My Face, she shares a one-of-a-kind life story in a voice as fresh and challenging as many of the unique characters she's played onscreen. With full-throttle honesty, Sidibe paints her Bed-Stuy/Harlem family life with a polygamous father and a gifted mother who supports her two children by singing in the subway. Sidibe tells the engrossing, inspiring story of her first job as a phone sex "talker". And she shares her unconventional (of course!) rise to fame as a movie star alongside "a superstar cast of rich people who lived in mansions and had their own private islands and amazing careers while I lived in my mom's apartment."
Sidibe's memoir hits hard with self-knowing dispatches on friendship, depression, celebrity, haters, fashion, race, and weight ("If I could just get the world to see me the way I see myself," she writes, "would my body still be a thing you walked away thinking about?"). Irreverent, hilarious, and untraditional, This Is Just My Face will resonate with anyone who has ever felt different and with anyone who has ever felt inspired to make a dream come true.
©2017 Gabourey Sidibe. Reproduced with special arrangement with Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company (P)2017 Audible, Inc. Written by: Gabourey Sidibe
Narrated by: Gabourey Sidibe
Length: 6 hrs and 54 mins
"Mindy Kaling has lived many lives: the obedient child of immigrant professionals, a timid chubster afraid of her own bike, a Ben Affleck–impersonating Off-Broadway performer and playwright, and, finally, a comedy writer and actress prone to starting fights with her friends and coworkers with the sentence “Can I just say one last thing about this, and then I swear I’ll shut up about it?” Perhaps you want to know what Mindy thinks makes a great best friend (someone who will fill your prescription in the middle of the night), or what makes a great guy (one who is aware of all elderly people in any room at any time and acts accordingly), or what is the perfect amount of fame (so famous you can never get convicted of murder in a court of law), or how to maintain a trim figure (you will not find that information in these pages). If so, you’ve come to the right book, mostly! In Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?, Mindy invites readers on a tour of her life and her unscientific observations on romance, friendship, and Hollywood, with several conveniently placed stopping points for you to run errands and make phone calls. Mindy Kaling really is just a Girl Next Door—not so much literally anywhere in the continental United States, but definitely if you live in India or Sri Lanka."
Written by: Mindy Kaling
Narrated by: Mindy Kaling , Michael Schur , B. J. Novak
Length: 4 hrs and 37 mins
"The weather is getting cold, but the frog population in New York is on the rise thanks to a magical mafia that has a unique method for getting their enemies out of the way. When wizard Owen Palmer at Magic, Spells, and Illusions, Inc., gets a cryptic threat that the secretive organization called the Collegium is gunning for them, Katie Chandler puts their wedding on hold and goes undercover as a compromised magical immune to infiltrate the enemy.
It's not easy pretending to work for a psycho who not only wants to take over MSI but also pull a coup in his own organization. It's even more difficult having to pretend to cut all ties with MSI. But with prominent magical citizens disappearing and anyone who crosses the magical mafioso landing on a lily pad, Katie knows she doesn't have a choice. It becomes personal when her friends become targets. It becomes an urgent crusade when Owen disappears.
When the final showdown comes, Katie's going to have to kiss a lot of frogs to have the allies she needs to save MSI - and if she ever wants to see her fiancé again."
Written by: Shanna Swendson
Narrated by: Eva Wilhelm
Length: 8 hrs and 7 mins
"Clam jam. Definition: the female equivalent of a cock block. Example: You're chatting with a guy you're interested in, and your friend comes along and lays claim to him.
Maggie: That's my life - except it's worse. My friend who keeps "jamming" me is my gay roommate.
Fact: He went home with three - yes, three - of the guys I had been so sure were into me.
Fact: He's really pissing me off. I'll never manage to get a boyfriend before the age of 50 if he keeps this up.
Fact: Secretly, I wonder what it would be like if he weren't gay. Why do all the hot, sweet, tender-hearted guys have to be gay?
Ry: The day I interviewed for the room to rent, everything changed. I knew I had met the girl, except there was one small problem: She'd been burned badly and didn't want to deal with a heterosexual guy as a roommate. I could've found another place to live, but I wanted to live there - with her. So I had to go undercover.
Fact: I'm in love with my roommate.
Fact: She's going to hate me if I come clean now.
Fact: I'm not giving up. Which means I'll just have to continue to run defense until I figure out a way to get Maggie to see the real me."
Written by: RC Boldt
Narrated by: Elizabeth Hart , Jeremy York
Length: 8 hrs and 42 mins
Audie Award, Humor, 2015 "Amy Poehler is hosting a dinner party and you're invited! Welcome to the audiobook edition of Amy Poehler's Yes Please. The guest list is star-studded with vocal appearances from Carol Burnett, Seth Meyers, Michael Schur, Patrick Stewart, Kathleen Turner, and even Amy's parents - Yes Please is the ultimate audiobook extravaganza. Also included? A one-night-only live performance at Poehler's Upright Citizens Brigade Theater. Hear Amy read a chapter live in front of a young and attractive Los Angeles audience. While listening to Yes Please, you'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll become convinced that your phone is trying to kill you. Don't miss this collection of stories, thoughts, ideas, lists, and haikus from the mind of one of our most beloved entertainers. Offering Amy's thoughts on everything from her "too safe" childhood outside of Boston to her early days in New York City, her ideas about Hollywood and "the biz", the demon that looks back at all of us in the mirror, and her joy at being told she has a "face for wigs" - Yes Please is chock-full of words, and wisdom, to live by."
Written by: Amy Poehler
Narrated by: Amy Poehler, Carol Burnett, Seth Meyers, Mike Schur, Eileen Poehler, William Poehler, Patrick Stewart, Kathleen Turner
Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
"The definitive guide to being a bawse: a person who exudes confidence, reaches goals, gets hurt efficiently, and smiles genuinely because he or she has fought through it all and made it out the other side. Lilly Singh isn't just a superstar. She's Superwoman - the title behind her wildly popular YouTube channel. Funny, smart, and insightful, the actress and comedian covers topics ranging from relationships to career choices to everyday life. It's no wonder she's garnered more than a billion views. But Lilly didn't get to the top by being lucky - she had to work for it. Hard. Now Lilly wants to share the lessons she's learned while taking the world by storm and the tools she used to do it. How to Be a Bawse is the definitive guide to conquering life. Make no mistake, there are no shortcuts to success, personal or professional. World domination requires real effort, dedication, and determination. Just consider Lilly a personal trainer for your life - with 50 rules to get you in the game, including:Let Go of FOMO: Temptation will try to steer you away from your goals. FOMO is just a test for your priorities - a test that a bawse is ready to pass. Be Nice to People: Treat niceness like a task on your daily to-do list. People will go out of their way to help and support you because you make them feel good.Schedule Inspiration: Lack of motivation isn't permanent or a sign of weakness. Expect it, and proactively schedule time to be creative. Be the Dumbest: Challenge yourself by surrounding yourself with people who know more than you do. It's a vital way to learn and improve.Told in Lilly's hilarious, bold voice and packed with candid stories from her own journey to the top, How to Be a Bawse will make you love your life and yourself - even more than you love Beyoncé. (Yes, we said it!) Warning: This book does not include hopeful thoughts, lucky charms, or cute quotes. That's because success, happiness, and everything else you want in life need to be fought for, not wished for. In Lilly's world there are no escalators, only stairs. Get ready to climb."
Written by: Lilly Singh
Narrated by: Lilly Singh
Length: 5 hrs and 49 mins
Before Liz Lemon, before "Weekend Update", before "Sarah Palin", Tina Fey was just a young girl with a dream: a recurring stress dream that she was being chased through a local airport by her middle-school gym teacher. She also had a dream that one day she would be a comedian on TV.
She has seen both of those dreams come true.
At last, Tina Fey's story can be told. From her youthful days as a vicious nerd to her tour of duty on Saturday Night Live; from her passionately halfhearted pursuit of physical beauty to her life as a mother eating things off the floor; from her one-sided college romance to her nearly fatal honeymoon - from the beginning of this paragraph to this final sentence.
Tina Fey reveals all, and proves what we've all suspected: you're no one until someone calls you bossy.
Includes special, never-before-solicited opinions on breastfeeding, princesses, Photoshop, the electoral process, and Italian rum cake!
What the Critics Say"Hilarious and insightful. Laugh-out-loud funny - oh no, a full moon. No! Arrgh! Get away from me! Save yourself!" (A Guy Turning into a Werewolf)"
Written by: Tina Fey
Narrated by: Tina Fey
Length: 5 hrs and 35 mins